Necessary KU Commentary

Since I am a die-hard University of Missouri fan… the following commentary/jokes are offered up for your enjoyment. They are offered up in jest… I honestly don’t endorse having hard feelings towards KU….. right……

Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student’s life?
A: The 3rd Grade.

Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.

Q: Why doesn’t KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

The Student
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Kansas Jayhawk. She asks her students to raise their hands if they’re Jayhawks too. Not really knowing what a Jayhawk is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Jayhawk.” “Then,” asks the teacher, “What are you?” “Why I’m a Missouri Tiger,” boasts the little girl. The teacher is perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a rebel. “Well, my mom and dad are Tigers, so I’m a Tiger too.” The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Jayhawk.”

Q: Why don’t KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.

Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said “Clean Restrooms”, they did.

Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn’t find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.

Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.

Q: What’s the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don’t talk at the circus.

Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.

Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.

Q: What’s the most useless thing in a KU fan’s house?
A: The KU fan.

Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.

Q: How do you break a KU grad’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: Why don’t they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Kansas?
A: They don’t want to wear out the mule.

Q: How many KU students does it take to eat a rabbit?
A: Three. One to eat and the other two to watch for cars.

Q: What’s the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.

Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke bottles in Kansas?
A: Open other end.

Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: Hod do the brain cells of a KU fan die?
A: Alone.

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4 Responses

  1. I’m sorry but a Missourian mocking the education of someone from Kansas is like a midget calling me short.

  2. Doesn’t negate the fact that you are short.

  3. You have to understand… Matt L is quite tall. Very tall.

  4. Yes, but what about the giant midgets?

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